How Did a Domestic Dispute Within the Gandhi Family Turn into a ‘Reality Show’? Sonia Gandhi’s Memoir Makes Revelations About Maneka

In her autobiography, Belonging: A Journey of Love, Sonia Gandhi has made several revelations about the domestic discord involving Maneka Gandhi, Indira Gandhi’s reaction and the divisions that eventually emerged within the family.

Sonia Gandhi has described in considerable detail how relations between her and Maneka Gandhi, who married Sanjay Gandhi, gradually deteriorated. According to Sonia, Maneka initially shared a cordial relationship with the family after becoming its younger daughter-in-law. However, domestic disagreements and growing political ambitions gradually created tensions. Sonia has compared the family’s public fallout to what would today be described as a ‘reality show’.

In her memoir, Sonia recounts her childhood, her marriage to Rajiv Gandhi, her life within the Gandhi family, Rajiv’s assassination and her eventual entry into politics. She also discusses her relationship with Maneka Gandhi, Sanjay Gandhi’s wife, and the disputes that divided the family.

According to Sonia, when Maneka first entered the Gandhi household, she was full of enthusiasm, energy and vitality. Initially, Sonia felt as though a younger sister had joined the family. But, over time, the atmosphere at home began to change. Sonia writes that domestic tensions and disagreements over Maneka’s political role eventually contributed to the family’s division.

How Sanjay Gandhi Met Maneka

According to Sonia Gandhi, Sanjay Gandhi met Maneka in the latter part of 1973. Maneka was quite young at the time, nearly ten years younger than Sanjay. The two married within a year, when Maneka turned 18.

After their marriage, Maneka entered the Gandhi household as its younger daughter-in-law. In her book, Sonia describes her as a lively, enthusiastic woman with an energetic personality.

Maneka’s Remarks Gradually Created Tension

Sonia writes that some of Maneka’s remarks and behaviour began to create an uncomfortable atmosphere at home. She often chose to overlook Maneka’s sharp comments to prevent disagreements from escalating. However, there were occasions when she, too, had to respond firmly.

According to Sonia, the tensions were not confined to her relationship with Maneka. Arguments between Sanjay and Maneka also became increasingly frequent. Their heated exchanges could often be heard by other members of the family.

Sonia writes that when angry, Maneka sometimes used language that was considered unacceptable even in the presence of her mother-in-law, Indira Gandhi. According to Sonia, this embarrassed Sanjay and made other family members uncomfortable.

At the same time, Sonia acknowledges that living in a joint family may not have been easy for Maneka. She had an active social life and an outgoing personality. Adjusting to the restrictions, expectations and traditions of the household may therefore have been difficult for her.

Sonia also recalls that the situation improved for a while. When Maneka began accompanying Sanjay to political meetings and public events, she appeared more comfortable. But before long, politics itself became another source of tension within the family.

Did Maneka Drive a Wedge Between Sanjay and Rajiv?

According to Sonia Gandhi’s memoir, Maneka’s growing influence over Sanjay began to affect his relationship with Rajiv Gandhi. Sonia writes that the two brothers had once been almost inseparable, but differences gradually began to emerge between them.

During the Emergency, Sanjay Gandhi had acquired considerable political influence. He began giving interviews criticising the slow pace of the administrative machinery. Some of his statements were also interpreted as criticism of Prime Minister Indira Gandhi’s policies.

While some Congress leaders supported Sanjay’s political ambitions, Indira Gandhi was reportedly uncomfortable with certain aspects of his activities.

Sonia writes that Indira felt Maneka was encouraging Sanjay’s political ambitions rather than advising him to exercise restraint. According to Sonia’s account, Indira Gandhi once remarked to her Cabinet Secretary, P.N. Dhar, about Maneka: “She is already beginning to grow wings.”

The remark suggested that Maneka was attempting to assert herself and establish an independent political identity at a relatively young age.

A Heated Argument Between Rajiv and Sanjay

The Congress suffered a major electoral defeat in the 1978 elections. According to Sonia Gandhi, Rajiv also held Sanjay partly responsible for the setback.

Rajiv reportedly believed that Sanjay’s stubbornness, haste, poorly planned programmes and decisions taken without informing Indira Gandhi had damaged the party.

In her memoir, Sonia describes an extremely heated exchange between the two brothers.

According to her account, Rajiv told Sanjay: “I cannot forgive you. You have brought our mother to this state.”

Sonia writes that Indira Gandhi was deeply distressed by the confrontation, but she also agreed with Rajiv’s concerns. She questioned Sanjay about decisions he had taken without her knowledge or approval.

When Maneka intervened in the argument, Indira reportedly challenged her to prove that the allegations were false. Maneka eventually withdrew from the confrontation, but, according to Sonia, her resentment towards the family grew further.

Allegations of Leaking Information to Journalists

In her book, Sonia Gandhi alleges that as tensions within the family increased, Maneka began sharing information about Rajiv and Sonia with journalists, further worsening their relationship.

According to Sonia, some of Maneka’s remarks were sarcastic. She also recalls that after the Congress’s electoral defeat, a report appeared claiming that Rajiv and Sonia Gandhi were planning to leave India.

Disagreements Over Maneka’s Political Role

Sanjay Gandhi died in a plane crash on 23 June 1980. His death came as a tremendous shock to the Gandhi family.

However, after his death, differences emerged within the family over Maneka Gandhi’s political future.

Sonia writes that Maneka’s mother, with the help of Sanjay’s supporters, was attempting to secure a political role for her daughter within the Congress. Indira Gandhi, however, was not enthusiastic about the proposal.

According to Sonia, Indira believed that Maneka was only 23 years old and lacked the experience required for political leadership. She wanted Maneka to concentrate on raising her three-month-old son, Feroze Varun Gandhi, and take some time before entering politics.

These differences gradually deepened the divisions within the family.

Dispute Over Varun Gandhi’s First Birthday

Less than a year after Sanjay Gandhi’s death, another disagreement arose over the arrangements for Varun Gandhi’s first birthday.

According to Sonia, Indira Gandhi had suggested holding a small celebration at home. However, she later discovered that the birthday party had been organised at the residence of Vasundhara Raje, daughter of the former royal family of Gwalior.

In her memoir, Sonia describes Vasundhara Raje as a supporter of the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS) and a political opponent of Indira Gandhi. Sonia also writes that Vasundhara later helped arrange the sale of Maneka’s magazine, Surya, to an RSS member.

According to Sonia, Indira Gandhi viewed these developments as deliberate political challenges. In particular, she considered the sale of the magazine an affront to her, Sanjay Gandhi’s memory and the family’s legacy.

Sonia writes: “With this step, Maneka had crossed all limits. For my mother-in-law, it was a deliberate challenge.”

According to Sonia, the final confrontation within the family took place while Indira Gandhi was on an official visit to London. During her absence, she received information that Maneka had begun moving her belongings out of the house.

After returning from London, Indira Gandhi questioned Maneka about her political activities. According to Sonia, Indira gave her two options: either abandon her political activities or leave the Gandhi family home.

Maneka’s Allegations Against Indira Gandhi

Sonia writes that Maneka responded by sending a letter containing allegations against her mother-in-law.

According to Sonia’s account, Maneka intended to present her departure from the house publicly in a manner that would place the responsibility for the separation on Indira Gandhi.

Sonia further alleges that Maneka had discussed this plan with a journalist friend several weeks before the incident.

Accounts sympathetic to Maneka’s position, however, also held Rajiv and Sonia Gandhi responsible for the family dispute.

Sonia Describes the Family Dispute as a ‘Reality Show’

After Maneka’s departure from the Gandhi household, the family dispute became public. The media began carrying regular reports about the differences within the family.

In her book, Sonia compares the entire episode to what would today be called a ‘reality show’.

She writes: “The way the entire episode was manipulated and the subsequent spectacle of publicity turned that unpleasant incident into something that would today be called a ‘reality show’.”

According to Sonia, the dispute did not end with Maneka leaving the family home. Legal disagreements subsequently arose over access to Varun Gandhi and the family’s ability to maintain contact with him.

Sonia writes that Maneka later refused to allow members of the Gandhi family to meet Varun.

Allegations of an Attempt to Kidnap Varun Gandhi

According to a Press Trust of India (PTI) report on Sonia’s memoir, she also recounts an incident that took place around Varun Gandhi’s fourth birthday.

At the time, Indira Gandhi was preoccupied with the escalating crisis in Punjab. She asked Sonia Gandhi to take some gifts to Varun at his nursery school.

According to Sonia’s account, newspapers carried a report the following day quoting Maneka Gandhi as alleging that Sonia had been sent to kidnap Varun.

Sonia writes that Indira Gandhi sent her final response to Maneka’s lawyer on 19 April 1984, approximately two months before Operation Blue Star.

By that point, what had begun as a private family dispute had developed into a full-fledged political controversy.

Maneka Gandhi Contested Against Rajiv Gandhi

After separating from the Gandhi family, Maneka Gandhi embarked on her own political journey.

In the 1984 Lok Sabha elections, she contested as an independent candidate against Rajiv Gandhi but lost.

In 1988, she joined V.P. Singh’s Janata Dal. Later, in 2004, she became a member of the Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP).

Maneka Gandhi and her son, Varun Gandhi, subsequently became prominent figures in BJP politics. Maneka was elected to Parliament several times and also served as a Union Minister.